Dad took a liking to the aspiring agent and began to teach him the ropes. My sixth grade best friend, Andy Stewart, was racing towards me yelling at the top of his lungs: "HEY, LANG... MY MOTHER SAID YOUR FATHER WAS SHOT IN THE BALLS!" One day he entered the building and asked the lady receptionist, "What is this place?" Instead, I went to the front office, where I worked for the office secretary for extra credit. I looked around and saw Alena Levy, picking her nose, staring at me (and yes, she ate it). "HEY, LANG! "Questions began circling in my own mind as I worked on my would-be masterpiece. She locked the doors, called the police, and had Bautzer arrested for trespassing--yelling at him as he was taken away: "That's the last time you will fall asleep at one of my movies! He yelled again. Sitting in his car nearby, Wanger watched. He said hi to Mary and pulled out a jar of herring and sour cream. "She looked at me and calmly said, "That is something you will have to ask your father. "Can he still pee?" Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapterWe made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote!Part of HuffPost Entertainment. He was six foot three, and I came up to just above his stomach--just maybe a foot above where his balls were. Our maid, Mary Adams, who, at 250 pounds, looked like a Maytag dryer with a head, was making fried chicken. Bautzer and Crawford had a passionate, combustible relationship rife with explosive outbursts by Joan, and she'd recently had another after Bautzer fell asleep watching Mildred Pierce for the tenth time in her home screening room. Were there really two of them? The two-hundred-and-eighteenth day of my sixth grade year was hell. The couple divorced in 1981. "But Hollywood is Hollywood, and getting shot in the balls is a better story than getting shot in the leg." The opening voiceover of a popular soap opera my grandmother watched religiously echoed in my brain: "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives." She wore some sort of push up bra that made her breasts look like torpedo prototypes. "Then there was silence--the type of silence you remember when you awake in the middle of the night and you are waiting for the monsters to come out. I was stunned. And then she gave me a doughnut.Desiree was right. ""I'm not going to tell you much about it because it wasn't a very happy time, but I am going to show you something." Then it came to me, and I stood up.

He stood and undid his belt.Holy shit, I thought.

I loved when Dad came home, and under normal circumstances, I looked forward to spending much of the evening talking to him and watching a baseball game or throwing a ball around in the backyard. ©2020 Verizon Media.

"Your dad is a great person, there is a lot to be proud of," she said. Ex-husband Greg Bautzer (1911-1987) (ne Gregson Edward Bautzer) was a hot-shot entertainment divorce lawyer for such stars as Lana Turner and Ingrid Bergman. That's a lie! In 1938, he headed west in his Ford Tudor with $40 in his pocket and big Hollywood dreams. I'm sitting in Mr. Henry Clark's science class, ready to explode. Greg Bautzer Timeline; Greg Bautzer at Find a Grave; This page was last edited on 12 November 2019, at 21:57 (UTC). Prior to his marriage to Dana in 1956, he … I had to know, but now I was petrified.I slowly turned the corner and saw Dad enter through the back door. MY MOTHER SAID YOUR FATHER WAS SHOT IN THE BALLS! Kids stopped playing, basketballs stopped bouncing, and Mrs. Cohen, the playground monitor, dropped her whistle and locked her disapproving eyes with mine.I stopped and looked around. He later married actress Dana Wynter on June 10, 1956. A few hours later, my father arrived back at MCA, parked his car, and walked Joan back to hers.

His words ricocheted across the playground blacktop with deafening clarity.

This went on for some time.Joan was married to a wacky but talented producer, Walter Wanger, who started his career at Paramount and made movies across all genres, including Stagecoach (1939), Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956), and the disastrous Cleopatra (1963).

She came into the mimeograph room and saw the look on my face. Information needed to be gathered, answers to be given.Racing from my room down the stairs, I stopped. He had no idea that, in a little over a decade's time, his living quarters would be immortalized in the Billy Wilder movie The Apartment, staring Jack Lemmon.Jay was trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life, and night after night he would pass by the MCA offices and see the silhouettes of men in the windows, pacing back and forth.

It was our secret and one that I have kept until this writing. "Hi, hon," she said enthusiastically.

"Hey, if my dad was really shot in the balls, how was I born? As Joan continued to rant, she pulled out a bottle of whiskey, poured it on her hand, lifted her skirt, slid her hand down into her underwear, and wiped. "The guy was a lousy shot and hit me in the leg," he said. She rose from the maroon leather chair across from his desk and walked back to the bar concealed behind two mahogany doors. To this day, I still remember her perfume and the way she walked. Movies such as Casablanca, Citizen Kane, It's a Wonderful Life, Suspicion, National Velvet, Men of Boys Town, Fantasia, The Grapes of Wrath, and The Maltese Falcon captivated audiences throughout the country, and there was plenty of work for top talent in all aspects of the industry. He looked up and saw me.Every night I would hug my father when he came home.

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"I understand you have a question. Or weren't.Dad and I walked up the stairs, passing my parents' incredible art collection of Picassos, Diebenkorns, and Mirós, and went into his home office.

He is survived by his wife and a son, Mark, from his marriage to Miss Wynter.

Wanger aimed downward.Cut back to me in the sixth grade on that humiliating day. Mr. Clark was a porcupine-haired teacher who spoke deliberately, making each second seem like a decade. Jay's apartment served as the lover's lair for Joan and Jennings.


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